Holding It All
The calendar page has turned. The year is new. Here we are in January. This is traditionally a time when we’re holding so many hopes for the next twelve months, when we’re feeling the lightness of promise, and reaffirming to ourselves that this year our dreams are possible. We make plans. We set intensions. We look to the future with wide eyes. And we codify it all in a new planner. It’s a special time, these first few steps into a new year, hallowed, even.
But instead of feeling the bright possibility of a fresh year in front of us and holding onto our dreams, the road we’re trudging down feels dark and perilous. Venerable institutions and a way of life that values integrity, community, and adhering to the rule of law have cracked. The fault lines are all too clear. Reading the news is soul-draining. Our society feels like it’s been eviscerated by bad actors who are operating with cruelty, not compassion. This is a harrowing time we’re living through.
How do we wrap our arms around all of this? The horror, the atrocities, the grief that awaits us each morning when we read the news? The shock of a government that’s turned on its people and threatening world order. The cruelty and punishment being meted out to anyone who doesn’t agree. The threats to all who dare stand up to say, this is wrong. How do we still enjoy life—enjoy time with friends and family, engage in hobbies, do good in the world, tend to dreams?
Grief and joy sit at opposite ends of life’s spectrum. And yet, there’s so much in the middle. Every bit of it, a vital part of existence. How do we hold it all?
The Importance of Lightness
A woman far wiser than me once explained that we have two hands. We carry all that’s heavy in one and every bit of lightness in the other. We hold it all. Walk with it all. Tend to each carefully without letting the heaviness prevent us from basking in the joyful lightness.
It sounds squishy and esoteric. A discussion you’d hear in a philosophy class. Contemplation removed from actual life. Useless. Because how could the light, happy enjoyments of life ever balance out the horrors? The point is you can’t shoulder burdens without holding onto the sweet moments that make life worth living. In the grand equation of all that we hold, that lightness actually brings more to bear in a moment—especially the profoundly difficult ones—than anyone would ever expect.
Lightness is vital beyond measure. It’s what fills our cups, keeps us going, helps us see possibilities. It’s our shared humanity, our bond, and it gets us through. That lightness isn’t frivolous, or something to be shoved aside in order to deal with life’s harder realities. The lightness is hope. And absent hope, nothing is possible.
The Why of the Holding
Maybe you’re like me and you too have already heard some version of this perspective. Maybe you have to keep reminding yourself of it the way I do. Maybe you also need to give yourself permission to lean into the joy, to have fun, to laugh and to do things that you enjoy. Remind yourself. Give yourself permission. Because this feels more important than ever right now.
I think we need to turn toward the joy and let ourselves feel its warmth for all the reasons mentioned, but also so we have the strength and grace to square our shoulders to the colder realities of our day and help each other put our best foot forward.